"Two vodka cokes and a reality check please"

Now first of all, I am not against clubbing. I enjoy it. Don’t we all? But why? Yeah, you can say that it’s to have a good time with your friends and relax. Or maybe you want to try and pull. You might even want to show off all the work you put in watching YouTube videos on how to shuffle. However, just take a step back and consider it from a sober point of view.

So pre-drinks have finished, you’ve got out of the taxi and now you are going to wait up to 30 minutes in the queue outside the club, and lets face it, it’s England so it’s going to be raining. When you finally get to the front you give your ID to the bouncer and try your hardest to look natural even though the alcohol you consumed an hour ago has probably mostly worn off by now.  You now pay to go into a sweaty, cramped and most likely smelly room with music that is so loud you can’t even hear someone scream into your ear about the huge queue at the bar.

That’s where you’re heading now. Waiting for 15 minutes tactically weaving between people to get to the bar, waving your money about like you’re trying to swat a fly just to get the attention of the bar worker who has probably seen the flapping fiver and knows exactly who to serve last. When you’ve finally paid £4 for a watered down drink, tiptoed around the other people queueing trying not to spill the precious nectar in your plastic cup and located the rest of the squad you instantly regret breaking the seal so early on in pre-drinks.

Next stop is the toilet. The club loo deserves its own paragraph as it is such a massive oversight yet is an important part of anyone’s night out. You have to navigate a pool of unidentifiable liquid and broken glass to get to a cubicle with a door that doesn’t lock. Then you go to wash your hands only to get pestered by the man who’s job it is to say things along the lines of “No spray, no lay” while attacking you with Paco Rabanne One Million. In a midst of panic and awkwardness you accidentally give him your taxi fare home and dart out of the toilets back to safety where you can regroup and dance the night away to the likes of OMI’s Cheerleader and will.i.am’s It’s My Birthday.

Despite all that, thousands of us all go out sometimes up to three times a week and spend our hard earned cash or student loan (or should that be the student bank account’s massive overdraft!) and manage to make it “the best night ever” every night. People have different reasons to go clubbing. Being with friends, pulling or showing the club your top class dance moves. Personally I love to be able to sing, shout and scream to every song regardless of whether or not I know the words safe in the knowledge that the people around me will have no idea of how bad a singer I am. When I’m in the club I feel like I should apply to audition on the X-Factor with my perfect performance of Mr Brightside by Tom Garnett feat. Two double vodka cokes and a tequila shot. My voice in the morning tells me otherwise!

I know this won’t stop anyone going to clubs and it definitely won’t stop me. I love nothing more than to hang out with friends, have a good time and forget for a few hours about that lab report that needs doing. As I said at the start, I’m not against clubbing. I just stopped for a moment and thought about it. It’s a funny old thing. For years to come we’ll be dancing, singing and frantically checking Facebook in the morning hoping we don’t look awful in the club photos.

LeFort I Osteotomy

I've always thought I have a larger chin than normal. I hated looking at side on photos of myself. When I smile it points out even more. I've also always hated my teeth. I look after them as much as anyone else does but I have a slight underbite and when bite my front teeth together none of my other teeth bite together. I suppose when I was younger it was the colour that bothered me the most. Having been born with weak enamel means that they have been stained for years. Whitening toothpaste hasn't helped and my old dentist tried something but it didn't work. He said there was nothing that could be done. He always said my teeth were good and there was nothing wrong with them. At the time I was terrified that I would need braces and he would say my teeth would straighten in their own time.

It wasn't until I changed to an NHS dentist that anything was done about it. My new dentist referred me to a specialist who then suggested I have an operation to sort my bite out. Two years down the line and I've just had said operation. My top jaw has been brought forward. I'll spare you the details about how it has been done but If you want to you can google the title of this post. There's even some videos of the operation if you are very brave. They had to put screws in my jaw a week beforehand for the surgeon to use to move my jaw because I don't have braces. Yeah, that hurt.

I know it will take a lot longer than a few days to recover. I can barely move my jaw and have to be on a very soft diet for about a month  My face is very swollen and it looks like I've been beaten up for saying the wrong thing to the wrong person on a night out down in B-Town.

I hope to go to Leeds Festival again this year. I should be eat normally by then but I guess it is an excuse to stay clear of any mosh pits without being called a wimp. Even though I will have to be careful eating and getting hit in the face I will still be able to drink so it won't be a complete disaster. Well, unless I get way too drunk.

I think the worst thing will be not being able to eat properly for at least a month. Seeing people tuck into burgers will be torturous. I will most probably lose a lot of weight as well. This is something I cannot afford to do as I will practically disappear. I will also have very little energy. I have got some supplement shakes to try to stop that. Oh, and super noodles will be my saviour during my recovery.

My face doesn't actually hurt that much. That is due to the space between my eyes and my chin being almost completely numb. I also look like a right state with my swollen face and occasional dribble that makes a bid for freedom from my mouth. The most uncomfortable thing is not being able to breathe properly through my nose. The top of your mouth is the bottom of your nose so it is all clogged up.

So yeah, here's to a month of being lazy but having a perfectly acceptable excuse for it.

"Margaret Pizza"

Today I had a day out in Manchester and it came to that time of the day where my stomach made itself known. I was hungry. I needed food and what better way to provide said food than through an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I had been recommend to try "Tops Buffet Restaurant". I was told the food is really good and there is an amazing choice. I was hoping it would compete with "Red Hot World Buffet", which is really good.

First impressions were good. The restaurant looked tidy and clean and the entrance and front desk looked really good. It was a big contrast to the chart music that was playing throughout the restaurant. You pay for your food before you enter and before you know what the food is like but as it's a buffet you don't have to actually choose what you are going to eat before you sit down. You also pay for you drinks as you order them, there is no bill.

Having been to Red Hot a few times I know to expect that some of the dishes may not be piping hot and fresh out of the kitchen as they may not be as popular so the turn around is slower. However, I don't, under any circumstances, expect the food to be barely lukewarm or even stone cold. It wasn't just one of two dishes. Every starter I tried was stone cold, with the exception of the spring rolls that were lukewarm, even the chicken was barely lukewarm!

I thought I might have just been very unlucky so moved onto the mains. I decided to start with Italian food and, as it was the lunch time sitting and not all the dishes were on offer, this consisted of only pizza. No pasta, only pizza. The garlic bread wasn't even available! They had also labeled the Margherita pizza as "Margaret Pizza", although if I was called Margaret I would be offended! The pizzas I chose were yet again barely lukewarm and the chips (from the starter section?) were stone cold. This was enough. I didn't want to try anything else.

As we complained someone who was sat on the table next to us agreed with us saying that the food was cold and that she hadn't eaten anything other than ice cream, which was cold thankfully. The member of staff investigated and we were told the starters were at least above 70°C. The food was definitely not to that temperature. Luckily we got our money back but I worry others wouldn't. Some people only getting a voucher for one free lunch sitting during the week. That wouldn't be used!

I definitely would not recommend this buffet restaurant to anyone. It was not good at all. I left with my stomach still hungry for food and so proceeded to the Arndale food court where I had half a "Margherita" pizza, that this time was hot, and actually got a slice of garlic bread. Teamed with chips and a drink at under £5. Bargain!

Two of the fastest years of my life

So I’ve had the last lesson, last exam and last late night revision session at college. No more waiting for that lift that only seems to set off half of the time, no more frantic searching for my ID lanyard before walking through the door and no more ham, cheese and pizza sauce paninis.

The last two years at college have been amazing and have gone so quickly. I’ve met loads of amazing people who I very much hope to stay in touch with in the future. The teachers are brilliant and I’ve been studying subjects that I’m interested in. I couldn’t really ask for anything more.

Don’t get me wrong, A Levels have been difficult but that was only to be expected. If the jump from GCSE to AS Level didn’t catch me by surprise the jump from AS Level to A2 level definitely did. If that wasn’t enough I’ve had to battle with a coursework project of over 21,000 words with 3 pages for the table of contents alone and the removal of January exams meant that all my exams were in May/June. However, it is all done and it rests in the hands of the markers with me waiting nearly two months for results day. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally go for random walks and generally potter about without feeling guilty about not revising.

I am going to miss college after having such a good time but I am looking forward to the rest that these summer holidays will provide before setting off to university, something I am also very much looking forward to. I am confident that I will have an amazing time at university, wherever that may be, meeting new people, forming new friendships and studying what I am most passionate about, Chemistry. I also cannot hide the fact that I am very excited for Freshers’ week.

Going to university will be my first experience of freedom. I won’t have to report all my whereabouts or explain that I’m going to be home very late to my parents again… well, until I come back home in the holidays anyway. Again, leaving home will be sad in a way but I am very excited nonetheless.

The summer for me holds lots of resting, a holiday abroad and a weekend at a music festival. I am stupidly excited about that! I’m hoping this will be the best summer I’ve had yet.

Knowing me, I’ll probably still find myself going to college for one thing or another, I usually do in the holidays.

Awkward eye contact and other awkward contact

You might be thinking, "What is this other awkward contact?" I'll get to that later so read on.

Let's start with awkward eye contact. It happens to everyone (Don't lie, remember that one time with the window cleaner just after you got out of the shower?). Sometimes you'll just be looking at someone you like but haven't spoken to yet, they'll turn around and look into your eyes, and it all gets awkward from there. Either that or it turns into the perfect love story where as soon as you look into each other's eyes you instantly fall in love and are destined to be together. In reality you look away as fast as you can then realise that in doing so it made it look like you were staring for a good two minutes. Mix awkward eye contact and lifts and you have a situation which will make the best of people cringe.

On a similar note, you know when you just zone out and are just staring into the distance? Well you better check where you are looking because there is a good chance that you could be staring right at someone. They will have no idea you have just zoned out and could be a little freaked out. Oh, and from a guy's perspective, if you zone out while looking at a female just be very careful where you are looking. Yeah, that's happened before.

Now the "other awkward contact". Sometimes you can just be walking along without a care in the world, the sun will be out, everyone will be happy and then your hand brushes against someone else's. Unless you are close to this person it is never a good situation. Now, you can't look and say sorry because, not only will there be yet more awkward eye contact, you will most likely mess up your words and make the situation more awkward. You just have to move on and accept that it happened.

To some, this can be a daily occurrence in one form or another. All I can say for sure is that these situations are most definitely awkward. They can probably be avoided but if one of them happens to yourself you just have to, without it sounding too clichéd, keep calm and carry on.

Rain rain go away...

...come back another day!

As a youngster I used to sing this a lot but it seems relevant now with all the bad weather we have been getting for the past few weeks.

Weather. If, like me, you're from the UK you'll most likely hate it. If we're lucky we will get a few weeks of, mostly, unbroken sunshine but this will be followed by thunderstorms. Usually, for me anyway, the sunny spells happen during the exam period meaning I have to sit an exam in what can only be described as a makeshift sauna and when the exams finish and the holidays begin... rain and lots of it. Actually last summer was quite decent for weather. The sun lasted until halfway through a week that I was away. Everyone was wearing t-shirts, sat outside for at least two hours watching an open air Shakespeare play and the heavens opened. In true British style they carried on, with a few references to the weather much to everyones' amusement.

It is true though. British people will talk about the weather a lot. It is an ice breaker when you are in a lift with a stranger and accidentally make eye contact. When these conversations do happen we all think we are experts in the jet stream and turn into weathermen/women, predicting that it will snow next week. As with the actors in the Shakespeare play, we deal very well with rain, after complaining multiple times on various social networks, but as soon as there is even the slightest flake of snow, mayhem breaks out. Gridlock, flights cancelling and local councils saying they had enough grit for the winter but it all got used up earlier in the season and they will have more next year.

It all gets blamed on "The wrong kind of snow". The wrong kind of snow! Apparently our snow it too wet and other countries, who manage just fine with a foot of snow, get the right, drier, kind of snow.

A few years back whenever I woke up to a few centimetres of snow I would switch over to the local radio station praying that school would be closed. If it wasn't I would have to endure the slow, cold walk to school, dodging snowballs that seemed to get flung from nowhere. However, the most satisfying thing was to see a sheet of snow that nobody had walked on yet. It would look so perfect and pure until I at first walked slowly onto it, looking back at my footprints as a walk, then ran and made a path with no logical direction whatsoever.

It does seem as though we, in the UK, deal well with average temperatures and the odd shower but stop functioning in anything slightly extreme. If it's not snow it's a heatwave. Hosepipe bans make the news and all we can talk about is how hot it is. We once had a period of heavy rain during a hot spell. There were hosepipe bans dotted around the country and it got described as "The wettest drought". It does show that we do keep spirits high and maintain a sense of humour towards the weather. Also, as it is fairly rare for us to get hot weather, as soon as we have had three days of sun and temperatures above 12°C we rush to the shops to get burgers, sausages and chicken and rummage around our sheds looking for that long lost barbecue.

We will always complain about the weather, start conversation with absolute strangers about how cold it is and get caught out in a shower wishing we wore a coat. Plans will continue to be ruined and when told to "pack for the weather" for a weekend break we will still have to pack shorts, coats and a snow shovel. We will have to deal with it, and the tweets and Facebook statuses along the lines of "OMG IT'S SNOWING!!1!!one!!"



Although I have been pointing out that we don't deal very well with "extreme" weather it can be truly extreme. That is proven with the weather we are experiencing at the moment. It has at times got pretty bad in the North of England but it cannot be compared to what they are getting in the South of the country. The floods are terrible and are destroying people's homes and other possessions. Sinkholes have even opened meaning homes have had to be evacuated. These are thought to have been caused by the floods. Weather can be dangerous and we do have to spare a thought for all those that have been affected by the absolutely horrific weather we have been seeing in the past few weeks.

"Can I see your tickets and passes please!"

Public transport. We've all had to use it at some point (If you haven't then lucky you!). For some it's their way of getting to and from work, for others it's an occasional experience for when fuel and parking charges would result in you taking out a payday loan. *shudders*


I'm a frequent bus user and while it provides a convenient way of getting from A to B, it does cause frustration, anger and grumpiness among other things. I use them at a time when they are at their busiest with people standing right at the front and the driver having to shout at them to move back. You feel like you've won the lottery if you get a seat. It seems that no matter how busy it gets the driver still lets more passengers on, that's unless you are the one waiting for the bus, in that case it will just drive past.

I'm one of those people that will move my bag to let someone sit next to me when the bus is busy. They have every right to sit next to me and I have no problem with it. That is not an invitation, however, for them to sit on their seat and half of mine. I prefer to be able to sit normally without having to sit with my back pressed against the window. If that is not enough, when I ask politely to be able to get off the bus I'd like more of a response than a tut and a mutter under the breath.

If you have been lucky enough to get a seat you feel as though your fortunes have changed when it's time to get off at your stop. If you have a large bag you face two options: a) Wear your bag but end up accidentally hitting people on the head as you stagger past receiving yet more tuts and mutters or b) hold your bag in one hand leaving only one hand free to grab the rails to stop you falling into the armpits of a fellow passenger. The choice is yours but either way when you finally manage to get off and take a breath of fresh air you ask yourself whether walking would be a better option next time.

You may be thinking "Well why don't you just wait until the bus stops to get out of your seat and go to the front of the bus? There are signs recommending you to do so." Yes, there are signs telling you to wait until the bus is stopped. That doesn't stop the bus driver setting off again if you are not jumping out of the doors in under two seconds. If you complain they will just laugh it off, unlike when you try to pay with any form of paper money.


There are some forms of public transport that are actually quite good. Personally, I like to travel by train and, with it's seemingly complex but actually very simple map and utterly unique station design, the London Underground fascinates me. It gives a feeling of luxury travelling on a long distance train compared to the tin cans on rails that we get on the local line. You are lucky to get a train with more than two carriages and even more lucky to get one with slightly moderate suspension. They are quicker than the busses but if you miss it you have to wait a whole hour before another one arrives. You also don't get the leg room, shop or trolley service that the long distance trains offer and you'll have no luck finding any first class carriages.

When you get to your station you have to wait for the conductor to unlock the doors. This can sometimes take some time if they are busy selling a ticket. They will open their door first, check that the platform and then unlock the rest of the doors. It is only then that you can press the button to open the doors. Some people don't grasp that concept and give you some quite rude words if you don't press the button as soon as the train stops. What do you expect me to do? Get my sonic screwdriver out? The last time I checked I wasn't The Doctor! They sometimes act as though they commute on the trains all the time and know how these things work. If they did they'd know that the conductor has to unlock the doors first. I somehow manage to keep my anger in while I go to the ticket office to buy the ticket for my journey because the conductor hasn't had time to get to where I was sat, or in some cases hasn't even managed to make it out of the conductor's cab. I'm surprised at how few people go to the ticket office to get a ticket. Now, they could already have a ticket but I'm sure some people don't.


Overall, even though sometimes I wish I didn't have to use public transport, I think I will miss it when I inevitably take the plunge and buy a car. For the time being, however, I will still be showing my pass or fumbling around trying to get my train ticket into the slot to open the station entrance gate. It will be me, my friends and that one guy who decides to eat pickled onion Monster Munch for the entire journey.